Blood ought to be Thicker than Water

Cartoon by Kyla Michelle Biniza

"Children as a retirement plan" is a frequently debated issue in Philippine culture, particularly among parents and children. Most have traditionally viewed this as a common act, believing that if a parent raises a child, it is the child’s responsibility to repay their parents as reparation for being raised. This is a duty that no child has ever been prepared for and should never be obligated to. 

A two-time Olympic gold medalist sparked a heated issue online after his mother hurled comments at him while he won gold for his country at the Paris Olympics. Carlos Yulo's celebration turned into a quarrel between the Yulo family and netizens. A controversial post from Yulo’s mother went viral as she criticized her son’s win. Issues of the Yulo family began spreading for the world to observe, and people gave their opinions and perspectives on the matter.

Boomers, Millennials, and Generation Z have a lot to say on the issue, as these generations have different perspectives that contradict each other. The boomer generation's standpoint on the matter is that Carlos is to blame because he was raised by his parents. Some even claimed, "utang na loob niya yon, magulang niya ang nagpalaki sa kanya (He owes it to his parents, they raised him)," which is a frequent comment made by elders. However, by saying that, they appear to be disregarding their child's feelings and sacrifices.

In contrast to the boomers, the younger generation seeks to consider all sides of the issue, eventually concluding that Angelica Yulo is to blame rather than Carlos. Their judgment is based on Angelica Yulo's interviews and a statement issued by Carlos Yulo defending and informing the public about the athlete's reality. Carlos's public statement addresses how his family turned a blind eye and refused to listen to him, justifying and rationalizing his mother's misconduct and violating his trust. Furthermore, the issue shows that seniors and young people have opposing viewpoints on many matters, suggesting that today's youth are not following in the footsteps of the elderly.  

Moreover, part of the blame and criticism netizens throw at Angelica Yulo is the statement she made about obtaining money from his son’s bank without consent. This action is perceived by many as a breach of trust and misuse of authority. Many agree that Carlos Yulo’s trust was violated, considering they did have a close relationship prior to the issue. Angelica Yulo clearly committed a form of financial exploitation. 

Conversely, the concept of “Utang na loob” (debt of gratitude) is stamped onto the minds of most children from Filipino families. When the parents meet an age wherein they are required to retire, they expect their next of kin to carry the financial burden. But this is the exact issue. Children should never be obliged to bear the responsibilities of their parents, for they did not choose to be born—their parents did. A lot of Filipinos experience this toxic mentality, and it creates a stressful environment and a detrimental mindset that leads to one suffering from mental issues. The term “utang na loob” should never be used against a child because no one chooses to be born in the first place; it is the parent’s choice to make, raise, feed, teach, and love a child.

Different sacrifices and hardships will never mean that one’s sacrifice is greater than the other. From a private family matter thrust into the public eye, both generations voiced their beliefs. However, it should never be the child’s responsibility to carry a parent’s burden. No one will be able to grasp the athlete’s narrative, except those who experience the burden themselves. In today's world, the choice to repay 'utang na loob' should be a personal choice. Utang na loob is an outdated cultural expectation, not a legal requirement. After all, blood ought to be thicker than water.